Meditation
The Pinball Machine Mind That Learned to Sit Still
I hit rock bottom in 2011. I was lost, confused and full on benzos. That's where my story starts, and it's the honest reason meditation is in my life today.
How I found it
I reached out to FAST, the Finglas Addiction Support Team, and from there I went into Coolmine. That's where I was introduced to Reiki. I loved it so much that I completed a Reiki Master course, and it opened the door to meditation.
It was not easy
I'll be honest, the start was hard. My mind was like a pinball machine. I couldn't sit with myself, and I felt restless and uneasy the whole time.
But I kept coming back to it. Slowly, the pinball machine started to settle.
My practice today
Meditation is now a fixed part of my day, and I do breathwork twice:
- Morning: 20 minutes after my 3km jog and 15 minute weight session, when I get out of bed.
- Night: 20 minutes before bed.
It's the third piece of my morning routine, and it closes my day too.
What it does for me
Meditation helps with my anxiety and calms my body. When I stay with it for a longer session, it can also help me notice the things my body is holding onto, the tension and stress I didn't even realise I was carrying.
Running and lifting work on my body and my mindset. Breathwork is where I slow all the way down and listen.
Why I can't skip it
For me, this is not a nice extra. It's a necessary habit. Without my breathwork I believe I'd probably be back on the drink and my anxiety would be through the roof. I feel like I was meant to be introduced to meditation.
The proof
I'm still off the drink and drugs. That's all the proof I need that it's working.
If you're struggling
If your mind feels like a pinball machine, you're not broken. That's how it feels at the start for most of us.
- Start with a few minutes of slow breathing.
- Expect it to feel restless. That's part of the process.
- Keep showing up, even when it's uncomfortable.
Meditation is one of the things that keeps me steady, alongside the support I got along the way. If you need help, reach out to someone. I'm proof there's a way forward.
Fifteen minutes, then tick it off.
Listen is the first of three daily steps in the free DRG app. Play the day's meditation or breathwork track in the app, or do your own and tick it off.